Easter Musings
On April 5, 2026, Easter Sunday, my wife drags me to a Korean American church in North Jersey. Spread out among the pews are about 30 people. A loud praise band of 4 is the orchestra for the 5 female singers lined up against the back wall of the stage, at the front center of which stands a man in his early 50’s behind the pulpit, singing along.
As soon as we find our seats in the back, I close my eyes, hoping to sleep through the ordeal. The music stops but is replaced by the pastor’s harangue of a sermon about the resurrection of Jesus.
“Our risen Lord reveals himself to 4 women, Salome, Joanna, and the 2 Marys, which is transformative. He is the first feminist on record…”
I doze off, loathing his misdirection of sympathy, for it is the male that should be pitied, a bondslave to the female whose vagina his penis has entered, spewing his semen into her uterus, the seedbed of her defenders and champions securing her Xanthippean tyranny, tolerated, nay encouraged in the USA, the richest and strongest in the world, but the dumbest, under the influence of Christianity anchored to the dual improbability of Jesus’s birth and death.
According to Worldometer, 4 to 4.5 babies are born, that is, squeeze through their respective maternal vaginas globally every second, i.e. 250 births per minute, 15,000 per hour, 360,000 per day, or 131,400,000 per year, resulting in the current (AD 2026) population of 8 billion. In AD 1, the year Jesus was born, it was 150 – 330 million. From this data a mathematician can deduce the total number of humans that have trod the earth during the 300,000 years of our existence as a species, probably in the zillions, each born by uterine insemination and vaginal (rarely Caesarian) parturition. Except Jesus.
He is said to have a mother, Mary, who gets pregnant with him, understandably infuriating her husband Joseph who hasn’t yet consummated his marriage with her and has to be appeased by the angels who assure him that her inseminator is no human paramour but God himself. He accepts this zillionth probability, normally called improbability, and so do 2.5 billion Christians worldwide, or 1/3 of the 8 billion global population, and 260 million or 3/4 of the 340 million US population, though all born of uterine conception by penile penetration of the vagina and vaginal parturition.
But the other improbability is the resurrection of Jesus 3 days after his crucifixion and burial, another zillionth probability because no dead human, buried or not, has ever risen.
But let’s be honest: a zillionth probability is improbability. But that’s what these first-generation Korean Americans, well-adjusted and well off, as shown by their generous offerings, chant about and believe in, because the alternative is inconsolable despair over death, total erasure of their being. I sigh and doze off….
